tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-275349752024-03-13T22:40:03.821+08:00Letters from Peace CorpsMy blog has traveled around the world as I have transferred from country to country with Peace Corps. I spent 6 months in Guinea teaching chemistry and physics but had to leave when the Guinea program was suspended due to political unrest. I spent about a month in Mali and then transferred to Burkina Faso. I was a math teacher. I have now transferred to Asia and am an English teacher at a university. This will be my sixth and last year in Peace Corps.王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.comBlogger758125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-63488536752911896662013-08-18T22:30:00.001+08:002013-08-18T22:30:52.873+08:00Near Perfect Day<div dir="ltr">Today was such a perfect day. <div><br></div><div>Drank a pot of tea and ate a salad.</div><div>Read.</div><div>Had a massage.</div><div>Knit a scarf.</div><div>Watched an awesome movie, <i>Pacific Rim</i>, in 3D for $3.</div><div>Biked back to the hotel in pouring, cold rain to a steaming hot shower.</div> <div><br></div><div>Such a perfect day.</div><div><br></div><div>Tomorrow will be a LONG day.</div><div>I have to prepare at least 5 sessions.</div><div><br></div><div>Institute immediately jumps into MOKO (month one kick off), a two day training run by program managers instead of our Institute staff. There isn't much prep time to start. Kind of crazy how we just do it. </div> <div><br></div></div> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-56895502365195792882012-10-11T23:01:00.000+08:002012-10-11T23:01:21.430+08:00New BlogMy new job keeps me pretty busy, but sometimes I still write.<br />
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My new blog can be found at <a href="http://lettersfromlincang.blogspot.com/">Letters from Yunnan</a>.王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-88713368139331593362012-06-14T15:32:00.001+08:002012-06-14T15:32:08.245+08:00GoodbyeGoodbyes are strange<br>Many said in a lifetime<br>Poof gone forever?<br><br>I am off for a new adventure in Yunnan Province, Kunming first, Lincang, then Yunxian.<br> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-79435814415047799702012-06-13T22:14:00.001+08:002012-06-13T22:14:41.431+08:00The Night Before Goodbye: Haiku 11all day at office<br>subway, bus, and paperwork<br>banquet with college<br><br>Today I went back and forth from home to the PC office twice, each leg of the trip from 30-60 minutes. I didn't bring my bike helmet coz I had thought that if the bike helmet was raggedy we didn't have to return it to the office. Unfortunately I was wrong, so I had to return home, grab the helmet and go back to the office. <br> <br>Dinner was a delicious feast of expensive Sichuan dishes, lots of fatty pork then ice cream and coffee at Ikea to say goodbye to my host sister, counterpart, and sitemate.<br><br>Today I've been in a sour mood, trying to protect my heart from feeling which resulted in a stoic, blank gal who had a distracted aura about her unable to concentrate on the people surrounding her trying to keep her company one last time. <br> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-37609587396672991952012-06-12T23:00:00.001+08:002012-06-12T23:00:56.361+08:00Countdown to Goodbye: Haiku 10Waiting till home leave<br>to buy a new computer<br>Job provides PC<br><br>I have almost checked off everything from the list of things to do before I COS on Thursday except for one big anxiety of should I purchase a computer that costs at least 200 USD more than in China. Today I learned three wonderful things:<br> <br>1. Teach for China is working to get their staff all on PCs which means they might purchase me a work computer.<br>2. I will start work this Saturday.<br>3. This summer I will probably be staying in a job provided hotel which means I won't have to spend my new salary on housing.<br> <br>Today was a good day. I went to a museum and looked at vintage photographs by famous photographers. Even though my bike is broken, I still got a lot of exercise walking in the sun from the subway to tea houses, a museum of Chinese paintings and hot pot restaurants. I have finally been contacted by Teach for China and learned some great things. 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-57570079121875875992012-06-11T13:16:00.001+08:002012-06-11T13:16:05.147+08:00Countdown to Goodbye: Haiku 9Bike rear brake box died<br>After 5 noes by 5 shops<br>I have given up<br><br>I got an ancient looking used clunker last summer for 100 RMB ($16) and it has slowly been falling apart. The chain falls off at least once every day. The chain guard fell off several months ago and now the back wheel is extremely stuck. It won't move unless the chain is off the gear wheel, and I am assuming it has something to do with the contraption that is attached to the back wheel which might be a band brake. <br> <br>Anyways, I don't want to waste time wandering the city looking for someone to repair my bike getting fed up with no after no. I'd rather sit, read, write, and relax this last week as a Peace Corps volunteer. I'm trying to treat these days as vacation before starting my new job next Monday.<br> <br> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-8855274989234315092012-06-10T22:03:00.001+08:002012-06-10T22:03:08.969+08:00Countdown to Goodbye: Haiku 8Yogurt granola<br>Tea for hours among friends<br>Sunshine heating peace<br><br>Sunday brunch followed by hanging out. Twas a good day.<br> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-67482870302142902252012-06-09T21:34:00.001+08:002012-06-09T21:34:21.690+08:00Countdown to Goodbye: Haiku 7Loved the 1 hour run<br>And whole day biking in sun<br>but two goodbye meals?<br><br>Today was an awesome day browning in the sun biking from 8 to 8 around the city stopping for gifts for and meals with friends, but little things seem to keep falling apart. First it was my flat's electrical sockets, then it was my school loaned computer, and now it is my bike. The back wheel is stuck tight and will not turn. It was a long walk back home when my bike broke down. I also feel my personality, heart, or mood is somehow breaking down too. Not exactly sure how to explain what's going on.<br> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-59113629386960396702012-06-08T14:24:00.001+08:002012-06-08T14:24:58.208+08:00Countdown to Goodbye: Haiku 6Goodbye to students<br>Hugs, Kisses and I love You<br>Emotional times<br><br>I am not sure if it is because they have watched so much western TV or listened to so many English songs or if it just the Chinese way, but for some reason my students as a goodbye would say, "I love you," followed by hugs and kisses and tears in the eyes.<br> <br>The students hosted a 2 hour goodbye party with entertaining dances, songs, and games. Without prior notification, I had to do a performance on the spot. Thank goodness for my kungfu. There were eating contests both oranges and watermelons and balloon games. They even had a 2 tier cake.<br> <br>Gifts: A T-shirt had a huge group photo of the students and I. A second gift was lovely black Chinese traditional shoes with a peacock embroidered on them. The third environmentally friendly gift from the class I taught about trash was a video, a 10 minute creative production of students using English to give me their goodbye messages.<br> <br>For the last class of the term, we went to an open and un-gated golf course where we were chased off by guards. We then went to a grassy hill beside a river alongside a castle to have a picnic, little Germany.<br> <br> I think the biggest difference between my Gansu students and my Chengdu students when it comes to goodbye parties is singing versus dancing. My Gansu students sang while my Chengdu students danced.<br> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-25309535475703793782012-06-07T07:46:00.001+08:002012-06-07T07:46:03.503+08:00Countdown to Goodbye: Haiku 5Haiku 5<br>Electric is back but<br>virus killed the computer<br>with a reboot loop<br><br>In the past 4 years, I have witnessed six computers killed by viruses. The last time I bought a computer was in 1999 and now i need one for my new job. Maybe it is the lessons of fate and experience that are whispering, "Do you really want to turn a blind eye to the content control software in many mainland computers that are being sold? Bite the dust and pay the extra cost of buying one in China. A Golden Apple may be your only choice."<br> <br> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-72064004382303541812012-06-06T14:39:00.001+08:002012-06-06T14:39:34.642+08:00Countdown to Goodbye: Haiku 2-4<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" border="0" ><tr><td valign="top" style="font: inherit;"><DIV>12 Haiku to Goodbye</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Haiku 2<BR>volunteer no more<BR>CONSUMERISM takes over<BR>books will be first<BR> <BR>I've started browsing on-line bookstores searching for new books my favorite authors may have published in the past 6 years. I am excited about the idea of reading books that I want to read and not just forcing through whatever I can find. Michelle Tea has a new one as does Alison Bechdel, Margaret Atwood, Neil Gaiman, and Murakami.</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Haiku 3</DIV> <DIV>Finals done and graded</DIV> <DIV>But sockets keep shorting</DIV> <DIV>Excel inputs wait</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>I can't find the breaker box. Every time I turn on my computer it blows a fuse and the night is spent reading instead of surfing. The next morning a repair man comes while I'm out and upon returning home, the computer is switched on and a fuse is blown. I feel like I'm in a cycle that is preventing me from leaving Chengdu with a peaceful flow of finishing school responsibilities, packing, and goodbye parties.</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV>Haiku 4</DIV> <DIV>Jog turns into 1 hr</DIV> <DIV>Passing shufflers at 6 am</DIV> <DIV>When will I be slower?</DIV></td></tr></table>王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-50393382247289740832012-06-03T17:51:00.001+08:002012-06-03T17:51:57.105+08:00Countdown to Goodbye: Haiku 1<div style="text-align:center">Haiku 1<br><br>Rain postpones long jog<br>Racial safety, cultural maintenance <br>Brewing in cafes<br></div><br><br>Today I read an article by Lynet Uttal called "Racial Safety and Cultural Maintenance, The Child Care Concerns of Employed Mothers of Color." There were two main ideas addressed. The first idea was about how mothers seek out child care providers who consciously develop a multicultural curriculum that would aid in keeping their children safe from racism. The second idea was a concern of how to retain and/or retrieve traditional cultural practices and values.<br> <br>I wonder if maybe one of the reasons why it is easy for me to remain in China year after year is because there is comfort in being around racially similar people even though we are culturally different? Maybe there is a sense of racial safety here. Maybe there is a sense of cultural maintenance too where by living in China satisfies some subconscious desire to retrieve traditional cultural practices that are dictated by my physical features?<br> <br>Or maybe, I just like the lifestyle of being able to walk and bike everywhere and live on $250/month, rejecting consumerism.<br> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-3210499145158403372012-05-27T22:36:00.001+08:002012-05-27T22:36:06.529+08:00I miss librariesToday was a perfect Sunday. <br><br>It started with a 45 minute run cut short to 30 minutes because lately I have been having drained energy on my jogs around the track, fatigue on both the mental and physical side. The fatigue might have been due to a Saturday college sponsored all expense paid for, day long outing including a three hour hike on an incredibly beautiful, lush mountain dotted with temples and Taoist monks, but I kind of doubt it. For the past week, my exercise routine has been been off.<br> <br>Brunching with a fellow volunteer, I treated myself to a yummy authentic eggs Benedict plate with all you can drink coffee sprinkled with thought provoking conversation, about sorely missed topics- culture, values, morals, diversity, etc... Questions like what kinds of actions are worse than cheating on a lover? What happens when you mix Chinese and American college graduates in an intense 6 week training where they live as roommates, 4-6 to a dorm room? What does forgiveness look like? Do American women feel less threatened by Chinese men than American men? Where is the source of my passion? It was great! Four hours of just drinking coffee and chatting.<br> <br>Then I went home and opened up a sociology textbook, <i>Race, Class, and Gender</i>, edited by Margaret L. Andersen and Patricia Hill Collins<i>. </i>As I read the stimulating essays, I realized that I miss libraries. I miss university bookstores full of textbooks mirroring the latest trends in hot topics. I wondered what kinds of essays Chinese sociologists are writing about their country. After reading a Cornel West "Introduction" to the book <i>Race Matters</i>, I wondered if because I am Asian American I too might be one of the "rootless, dangling people with little links to supportive networks that sustain some sense of purpose in life." I got angry reading an essay titled "Economic Apartheid in America" by Chuck Collins and Felice Veskel, an essay that reminded me of the trends that I fear about America, "less free time and more working hours, fewer households with health insurance, and diminishing retirement security." In China, my mind tends to get lazy, numbed by too much Internet TV and conversations with beginner English speakers, so today's college reading material got the gears turning.<br> <br>Compared to Gansu where the major topics of conversation were about family and weather, moving to Chengdu has been somewhat refreshing where colleagues start conversations on the environment, food safety, corruption, prejudice, luxury items, differences between the cost of living in America compared to China, and education. Often the details are backed by something someone read off the Internet.<br> <br>The thing is the Internet scares me even though it is the information age. Do you believe that information leads to freedom, leads to truth? 90% of my students felt that Internet was a necessity instead of a luxury.<br> <br>What percentage of the info on the Internet is well-researched opinions/ideas and not just some info byte issued by an interest group trying to further their own agenda? There are so many outrageous "truths" believed because the point of view is well-written with a tone of authority. With the emphasis on rote learning, the lack of critical thinking about Internet topics becomes apparent with the following questions I have been asked by both leaders, colleagues, and students: <br> <br>"The local bank received an e-mail about the Nigerian government requesting to deposit money into their bank. Could you please help me understand this email so I can translate it into Chinese for my friend who works at the local bank?" <br> <br> "Is it true that in French museums Chinese people aren't allowed to enter because then Chinese people will discover that France has many Chinese artifacts?"<br><br>And more that are a bit too sensitive to post here.<br> <br>Feeling myself being pulled into a black hole of monotony, existing withing thinking, of living the cycle of working and watching instead of having books to read, how do I prevent myself from becoming a mindless person? <br> <br>Libraries or Internet?<br><br>I wonder why I never really got into gathering knowledge from the Internet preferring libraries and bookstores. Maybe I am just out of date and need to get up to speed. Buying English books in China is difficult, so maybe abandoning books to surf the world wide web for info is a habit I should adopt?<br> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-84398899688889837082012-05-23T23:58:00.001+08:002012-05-23T23:58:07.152+08:00A Few Suggested Coping Strategies: Asian Americans Living in ChinaThere are many different ways to deal with stress, unwanted attention, defending one's identity, teaching about diversity, and facing people's assumptions. Here are just a few that may or may not work for you.<br> <br>-If you are just beginning to learn how to speak Chinese, learn a few phrases to explain your identity in a culturally understandable way. Even if they don't understand your explanation, try to find a way to be at peace with people not understanding who you are. There is really no point in fighting. In your heart, agree to disagree.<br> <br>-Smiling, being warm and friendly, people will be more open to hear what you have to say. Laughing together helps ease the conflict of not being understood.<br><br>-Ignoring unwanted attention doesn't always make the attention go away. Instead it can often instigate people's anger as they lose face because you are ignoring them. Say hello. Be friendly. Toast them with your glass. Answer their questions and then leave if you don't want to spend the night drinking with them.<br> <br>-Find a friend or a journal who will listen to your frustrations without judging, trying to solve the problem, or defending China.<br><br>-Surround yourself with a local community who is open to learning about who you are on a more personal level and grow together teaching each other about diversity, being American and being Chinese.<br> <br>-Give yourself permission to have a day off from China and enjoy a vacation alone in your flat reading a good book, creating art, listening to music or watching a film.<br><br>-While in public like on a train or with a shopkeeper, if you don't want to have a long conversation full of personal questions, put up some barriers. Don't make eye contact. Wear earphones or be totally absorbed in something else like a book.<br> <br>-Take a break from your community. Go on vacation.<br><br>I think one of the hardest things to cope with is the isolation one feels when no one understands who you are and are pigeonholing you into someone you are not. If you have any suggested coping strategies for that, do let me know.<br> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-30587735462159675252012-05-23T23:18:00.001+08:002012-05-23T23:18:15.533+08:00Being Asian American in Chengdu versus GansuThere are some advantages to being Asian American in China. I blend in and don't get yelled at by complete strangers nor do people stare at me. While alone on the street, there is a sense of being invisible, a peaceful relief. In the classroom, students think they can understand my English better because I look like them. Colleagues and strangers feel a certain level of comfort around me because in their eyes we share ancestors. Some feel connected to the familiarity of my physical appearance and that somehow breaks the ice of shyness making it easier to connect. I don't get called upon to be the token foreigner, the non-Asian face that can dance and sing and give an impromptu speech with a 10 second notification. It seems like being Asian American in China can be so much easier than for other Americans.<br> <br>In Gansu though, it was mentally wearing as I often fought and defended my identity as an American who spoke broken Chinese and was trying to understand Chinese culture. People shouted out hello to my sitemate as we walked past, but I was the one who was attacked with curiosity, a barrage of questions about the foreigner sitting with me. It was exhausting having attention as the assumed translator, followed by a million personal questions as people tried to understand why my Chinese was so poor when I looked like a Chinese person. I had to learn how to deal with people not understanding why in my eyes I was American. I had to learn to accept that even when I explained my adoption story and used the Chinese phrase American with Chinese ancestors, I would forever be defined as Chinese because our definitions were just different. In Gansu, one was defined by one's physical appearance rather than one's mannerisms, ways of thinking, language, and passport. Because of my black hair, I became Chinese by default, an owner of a green card, but someone who totally understands Chinese culture because of my skin and can learn the language faster because of my genes.<br> <br>During my stay in Gansu, I didn't realize how exhausting it was until I lived a year in Chengdu. In Chengdu, people asked, "Where are you from?" <br><br>"I am American with Chinese ancestors."<br> <br>Most of the time, the questions ended there. I was not assumed to be a translator. I was not assumed to be fluent in Chinese. I was not stared at because I spoke English. Many people in Chengdu understood what it meant to be Chinese American and didn't try to force me to match their notions of me being a Chinese speaking woman from China married with children. I was left in peace. Living in Chengdu as an Asian American was easier than living in Gansu because I didn't have to expend energy to defend my identity against a wall of assumptions. Just like how it was easier to live in Seattle than in small town Alabama, in Chengdu I lived without daily conversations that were sparked by my skin color.<br> <br>Some may think, "Who cares if people assume that you are Chinese. You blend in and don't get unwanted attention. Or isn't it fun to help people become aware of their stereotypes and assumptions?"<br> <br>For all of us who get unwanted attention or have to defend our identities especially if it persists for days, months turning into years, we face the draining weariness of battle fatigue. Constantly hitting that wall of rarely being understood leaves its mark even if it's unconscious.<br> <br>It has been a breath of rejuvenating energy living in Chengdu where I can breathe a sigh of relief as people accept without questions that I am a foreign guest in their city.<br> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-71554781498198361902012-05-19T22:01:00.001+08:002012-05-19T22:01:11.150+08:00Bad Bargaining SkillsIn four weeks my 6 year reign as a Peace Corps Volunteer will end.<br><br>Life has been busy.<br><br>I just got back from a nostalgic trip to Lanzhou for a weekend Project Design and Management Workshop. I visited a partially deserted- due to the cold and rainy weather- snack street and ate my way up and down the shoddy stalls, trying morsels of BBQ innards and chunks of lamb and fish, washing it all down with boiled milk chuck full of dried fruit and grains. I was reminded of how it felt being an Asian American sitting beside Caucasian friends attracting the attention of middle aged men, drunk on foul smelling rice wine, trying my best to ignore them, but having all of their attention directed to me because I am the "Chinese one" who is assumed to speak the language and translate their drunk slurs. Chengdu has been a much easier place for me being Asian American.<br> <br>Monday, I attended "Identity Matters: A Diversity Training for PC China Staff."<br><br>Then the rest of the week instead of catching up with the responsibilities of lesson plans, exam prep, COS paperwork, and packing, I entertained a visitor. We found a hot pot buffet for $7 and I learned that even though I have been in China for 4 years I still think like an American.<br> <br>My visitor wanted to buy some black, baggy, cool pants like the ones that I had recently bought. I had bargained from 300 RMB down to 150 RMB, but thought that I had given in too easily. After buying the pants, I felt the price should have gone for 80-100 RMB and was ashamed of my terrible bargaining skills. My friend on the other hand is much much better at knocking down prices. I assumed that it would be safer for her to go into the store alone because once the store owners recognized me, they would be like, "Yeah. That is the Chinese American we ripped off and we can do the same to her friend." I waited down the street.<br> <br>My friend walked out empty-handed, "They wouldn't budge. They wanted 160 RMB and kept saying that I had American dollars."<br><br>As we walked away disappointed, the store owner caught my eye and called us back into the store, "Oh our American friend. We sold her some pants a couple months ago. We will give you a good price." They went from 160 RMB down to 120 RMB right away. Then as my friend tried the pants on again, we made small talk and I reminded them that we were Volunteers. They said, "Oh that is so good. Okay okay, 100 RMB."<br> <br>Even after being in China for 4 years, I totally misread the whole situation and assumed that because I had gotten ripped off the first time, my friend would also get taken advantage of, easy targets if the store owner remembered how bad I was at bargaining. Instead, the thing that was most important, was the guanxi, the relationship we had formed the first time I visited their shop. 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-33006940858420761442012-05-19T21:55:00.001+08:002012-05-19T21:55:33.379+08:00One Photo, Two Points of ViewDuring office hours in the new Resource Room, the students looked at poster sized photos that RELO sent as a resource for teaching. (This packet of photos can be found in the PC China IRC.)<br> <br> My students and I observed the following:<br> <br> In a photo of an <b>American middle school classroom</b>, what drew my attention was how different the classroom was to a Chinese classroom where instead of being overcrowded with students, each American student had their own desk. Instead of white walls, the American classroom was full of color and projects hanging around and crowding tables set up along the walls.<br> <br> One student pointed out, "Look at that student. He is writing with his left hand. In America are you allowed to write with your left hand? In China, my grandparents would hit me if I used my left hand."<br> <br> In a photo of <b>four middle aged diner cooks sitting down taking a break,</b> what drew my attention was that there was an Asian man in the picture.<br> <br> One student found it strange that the cooks while on break were ALL reading a newspaper. She commented that in China, cooks on break wouldn't read but maybe listen to music.<br> <br> In a photo of <b>a kindergarten class sitting on the floor listening to the teacher read a story, </b>what drew my attention was how cute the kids from diverse backgrounds looked.<br> <br> The students commented, "What poor conditions in the classroom. There are no desks. They have carpet instead of tile. I can't believe the young students are sitting on the floor! How dirty."<br> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-52713714554383727972012-05-06T20:04:00.001+08:002012-05-06T20:04:37.749+08:00the ins and outs of the monotony of daily lifeWhen the new English Resource Room opened for the first time last week, 30 students showed up and obvious leaders stepped up to the plate discussing the purpose of the room, making a list of rules, and creating a list of names to vote for, names like ABC English Room, Jay's Room. I put my foot down when they wanted to name the library after me.<br> <br>On the countryside campus, since I wake up at 6 am and don't start teaching till 8:50 am, I went to the new English Resource Room and two students followed me to study. Studying to me means a quiet atmosphere. As I tried to read my new book, one student recited an English story and then vocabulary words. The other student recited speeches in Chinese. I was amazed at the noise level of two students studying, astonished by their ability to focus on their own material even though their voices mixed loudly. I cannot imagine 6 roommates studying in their dorm room.<br> <br>Because I am going to Gansu for a weekend workshop, I had a ton of lesson planning to do on Saturday. For my writing class, we will have a resume competition then for the second class will write <a href="http://www.teachervision.fen.com/poetry/lesson-plan/5454.html">metaphor poems</a> and 6 word memoir poems (idea from <a href="http://www.philiprazeminchina.blogspot.com/">Runnin' The Great Wall</a> blog). For my listening class I worked on a lesson to prepare for the CET4 and a lesson on consumption and trash using 3 clips from a <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7746001.stm">BBC report</a> on how countries deal with their trash and the educational short, "<a href="http://www.storyofstuff.org/">The Story of Stuff</a>."<br> <br>I am also preparing a 20 minute presentation about American high schools for an audience of Chinese high school students who have lost their motivation to study They have been arguing that America is such a good country and the students there don't have to work as hard as Chinese students do. Their teacher wants me to refute that argument and help motivate the students to keep studying diligently. The only problem is umm... I graduated high school in 1995. America's education system has undergone huge changes. Good thing, I know how to research a topic that I am unfamiliar with.<br> <br>I edited a friend's 20 page math paper on inpainting using partial differential equations. I think it is so hard for students in China who are trying to get their PhD. Technical English is hard!<br><br>During a 5 hour bike ride in the rain and fog with incredibly loud trucks along a barely used newly made wide lane highway into the small plots of farmland carved into hills, the quiet, sporadically disrupted by low flying planes above, made my Sunday perfect. I love riding my bike.<br> <br>A lovely surprise lay staring at me in my take-out bowl of duck. <br><br>Lastly, I stepped in poo for the first time since being in Peace Corps.<br> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-43626388209085952862012-05-01T22:41:00.001+08:002012-05-01T22:41:42.787+08:00Random Tidbits from a Relaxing WeekendMonday night I wanted to <span style="color:rgb(51,204,0)">patch a flat</span> but found a razor that slashed too many places to be fixable which meant I needed a new tube. My plan for a Tuesday 80 km bike trip to and from the Zebra Music Festival came to a screeching halt. <br> <br>I have realized that I <span style="color:rgb(0,0,153)">don't sleep well</span> in Chengdu. It is just too noisy living beside a construction site that never seems to stop working. There is always some type of machine that drones on throughout the night. Then when I am just about to fall into a deep slumber I wake up because at 4 am the machine suddenly stops, disrupting my body's attempt to adapt to sound waves attacking my ear drums.<br> <br>I have realized that my<span style="color:rgb(102,0,204)"> runs aren't peaceful</span> because I lesson plan while going round the track.<br><br>I read a <a href="http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1914974,00.html"><i>Time'</i>s article</a> that reported exercise doesn't always help people lose weight because after a run people will reward themselves with food thus canceling out any good the burnt calories might have had. There is evidence that claims the better way to lose weight is to record what you eat.<br> <br>Today while eating beef and rice, the person I was sharing a table with asked in Chinese, "Which <span style="color:rgb(255,102,0)">ethnic minority</span> are you?" I wonder what about me today made me look like an ethnic minority instead of Han Chinese. I was wearing a black T-shirt, a necklace bought in Gannan, a T autonomous region of China, and a black leather bracelet. Maybe it was the necklace?<br> <br>I can't decide which type of day/week I prefer.<br>Is it better to be extremely busy or to live a relaxing day of non-productivity? <span style="color:rgb(204,51,204)">Stress versus guilt?</span><br>I loved my relaxing weekend, but then today I started feeling a bit of a depressing guilt creep in. <br> <br>Hmm...<br><br>I am dreading it but also thinking maybe it is healthier- back to the grind on Wednesday.<br> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-27659088024027856392012-04-30T09:49:00.001+08:002012-04-30T09:49:22.778+08:00Relaxing before the attack of future tasksI am so lucky and am definitely feeling the great relief of having a 4 day weekend because of the official 3-day May holiday. <br><br>Since I had to miss my Chinese lesson for COS conference, my tutor found some unexpected free time on Friday and I was able to make-up a 2 hour Chinese lesson on dating. I picked up my perfect newly made black Mary Janes except that they are leather and need to be broken in.<br> <br>Saturday, I spent the whole morning lesson planning/grading, but then relaxed in the afternoon by hand-writing 5 short notes to friends and finished a book.<br><br>Sunday, I was actually able to finish two knitted hats. It has been so long since I have been able to knit. I've got 1.5 months left and feel a need to use up my stash of yarn.<br> <br>I found the most gorgeous <a href="http://item.taobao.com/item.htm?id=14897704604">African Wax</a> that I want to purchase to have a sundress made. I've been trying to find the best design for the dress and have been researching what I want- empire waist, long waist with an A-line skirt, or fitted. I love v-necks so that is definitely in. Send me photos of cool sundresses that could be tailor made.<br><br>My newly tailor made dress is pretty, but I fear it makes me look short and pregnant with a natural waist line belt/line that seems to accentuate the area where I carry my weight, my tummy. Also, a v-neck instead of the round neck would have made it more hip. The dress feels a bit dated, like something I would wear to church when I was a teenager.<br> <br>Every day I went for a 45 minute run and even though I wanted to go on a 50 km bike ride on Sunday, I got a flat 10 minutes into the ride. I then got lazy as I walked home to fix it.<br><br><b>Lesson Planning</b><br> I am teaching some experimental, new (for me) lesson plans using differential instruction to teach listening skills and vocabulary for the national CET4 exam creating various project areas for the students to choose from.<br> <br><b>COS Conference</b><br>As always COS conference is a tough time, emotionally strange, the excitement of memories and of feeling the sense of accomplishment of completing one's Peace Corps service, mixed with feelings of anxiety and apprehension about the future including saying goodbye. Plus there is the realization of an added list of paperwork and responsibilities that must be finished before one's COS date.<br> <br>During an optional session reflecting on who we were, who we have become and how this PC experience will affect our futures, I realized that I can't remember who I was 6 years ago living in Seattle, an American about to go to an isolated village in Africa. I feel like I have definitely evolved -values, thinking, reactions to situations, tolerance for things- but compared to other PCVs who seemed to easily discuss examples illustrating the shift of frustration to acceptance and understanding, I feel like my life has somehow normalized. It is hard for me to see the before and after. Life is just the way it is.<br> <br>For example, PCVs talked about the challenges of sending packages by China Post, the senseless paperwork at our schools, the value of giving up independence and self-reliance to ask for help, accepting and listening with an openness to different ideas, the comfortableness with a different level of privacy, how multi-tasking isn't actually all that effective, learning how not to be in control, etc... <br> <br>I on the other hand had nothing to say. Crazy! It kind of makes me afraid. <br><br>Going off to Africa was a great unknown. If I ever return to America, it feels like it will be an even bigger challenge than Africa because I "know" America so it doesn't seem as exciting. In reality though, I don't really know America anymore and will have to go through many frustrating moments before my American lifestyle feels normal. If I can shift the belief that I know America into I don't, maybe I'll be open to the adventure of discovering the unknown American me, thus making it easier to adapt back to America?<br> <br><b>Future Tasks<br></b>I don't even want to write about it.<br><br>It is time to get back to relaxing before the attack of future tasks.<br> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-6640995305834622542012-04-21T10:42:00.001+08:002012-04-21T10:42:56.952+08:00Leather ShoemakerI have spent a month looking for shoes. I even gave my students some money so that they could buy a pair of shoes off of a famous Chinese online shopping site, but they thought the shoes were too ugly and the shop wasn't reliable enough. They did not buy the shoes and gave me the money back.<br> <br>Last night I went and had a Chinese meal near Sichuan University's west gate. Lo and behold, I found a leather shoe making shop. I am getting a pair of shoes made using a male sole that is wide and a feminine Mary Jane top. <br> <br>There are two reasons why I have been having trouble finding shoes:<br>1. Shops rarely carry size 8. China size 38 which is the longest that most shops carry is just a bit too small for me.<br>2. The shoes for females are really narrow and I feel like I am walking on a balance beam.<br> <br>I am happy that I found the shoemaker and can mix and match what I want.<br><br>PS. To the commenter about cost of living in China- I can't reply to comments because I don't have a VPN and my blog is actually blocked in China. As a Peace Corps Volunteer I live comfortably on $240/month, but I don't pay for rent. I heard rent in Guangdong is like $400 which can be shared between two people. In Yunnan I am not sure, but I am going to guess rent is a lot cheaper. Actually I will be trying to find cheaper rent in Guangdong because $200 is way too much for me. If you want to learn more please provide me with your email in the comments. Comments are private.<br> <br> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-48349035400397044152012-04-19T22:19:00.001+08:002012-04-19T22:19:40.338+08:00Last days in China: 10 PositivesI've been feeling exhausted, but I will write about 10 positive things instead of the heavy workload, long list of things to do, mid-term exams, essays from my writing course, Chinese lessons, workshops, inability to stop eating and 24 hr construction outside my bedroom window.<br> <br>1. A quarter slice of a whole pineapple is only $0.25 and it is served on a stick!<br>2. I've been running and/or biking every day; although, I am finding it a bit strange that my feelings of stress haven't felt lighter because of the daily exercise.<br> 3. The new resource room has just been furnished, so office hours will be moving to the new room next week.<br>4. I bought new clothes and LOVE them.<br>5. I am picking up a new blue and white flower tailor made dress tomorrow.<br> 6. My COS date is June 14th with cash in lieu. My start date with TFC is June 18th.<br>7. The dean of my English department approved and is cool with the above timeline.<br>8. I have a pile of books to read and just finished three from the series, The Mortal Instruments.<br> 9. No cavities found by the dentist.<br>10. I was able to commute once by bike to my countryside campus this week. <br> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-32726045348596858552012-04-09T21:37:00.001+08:002012-04-09T21:37:00.423+08:001000 ShoesI spent hours wandering the first floors of malls in the downtown shopping area of Chunxi Lu of Chengdu. HOURS!!! I saw a thousand glittering shoes- flats covered in diamonds, bright colors, bows, and flowers; hundreds of pumps all with some type of heel; and sandals with a high top clunky wrap for the ankle. Looking for an extremely comfortable shoe that could endure 6 hours of teaching a day or hiking through cities during vacation I tried on 5 pairs of plain black shoes and realized 3 things:<br> <br>1. Cheap shoes ($30) are of extreme low quality.<br>2. Chinese shoes are not only short but also narrow. Rarely could I find a size 39 or 40 and if I did, my foot flattened by years of playing sports and by my weight did not feel supported on the narrow soles.<br> 3. Chinese women want to look tall. It was extremely hard to find a shoe that didn't have some type of heel.<br><br>So in conclusion, I hate shoe shopping in China. I spent HOURS looking and came up with nada! I am not sure how I am going to deal with the dilemma of needing a good pair of sturdy summer shoes. After 6 years, I still have my Chaco's, but they aren't very professional.<br> <br>I did find an amazing Chinese sleeveless traditional, form fitting gray linen shirt with tie-dyed purple flowers and awesome black, baggy pants with embroidered hot pink flowers. They were expensive, over $20 each, so I didn't buy them. I am waiting to see if I really really want them. I will probably buy them. Stay tuned for pictures.<br> <br>A terrible day of shopping did end well though with all you can eat sashimi with friends.<br> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-82993447457277171962012-04-06T20:20:00.001+08:002012-04-06T20:20:03.483+08:002 sizes biggerLiving in Chengdu with all of its temptations, going to Paris, going through a 4 stage interview process, and teaching full time wile doing the PCVL job are things that have not contributed to my waistline in a positive way. I tend to eat my stress or if there are tempting delights like in Paris, then my self-control if I ever had any goes out the window.<br> <br>Last semester I didn't worry so much. I was commuting by bike at least 80 km/week.<br> <br>Instead of wearing my ethnic skirts and colorful tailor made dresses and blouses, I decided to buy one casual blue/gray professional outfit. I really hate shopping in China because everything is too small; therefore, I went to a store with a western brand that actually had larger sizes. Not having a scale in my house, I really have a hard time knowing my weight fluctuations. In Africa it was even easier not to care about my body image since there were no mirrors except for the small round one that would sit on the desk. It was in that Swedish store that I learned the truth. I had gone from US size 10-12 to size 14-16. Bleh. I had the data. I haven't bought a piece of American sized clothing in 6 years and voila, I had solid proof that my waistline had grown.<br> <br>I love food. I don't diet.<br><br>Instead, I have started exercising more. Last week I went on a 4 hr bike ride that turned into 6.5 hours due to getting lost, and then yesterday I went on a 45 minute run. I got up early to go to the track, but all of the gates were locked even though there were a bunch of people exercising on the football field. I ran from here to there and finally found the person sized hole torn in the metal gate. Ah China... it tries to have strict rules. No one is allowed on the sports field. Look at the locked gates. Alas, its citizens find a way around it.<br> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27534975.post-39830148292419116022012-03-31T08:04:00.001+08:002012-03-31T08:04:15.289+08:00Unemployment UpdateSo yes, I will not enter post-COS (close of service) as unemployed.<br><br>After 6 years with Peace Corps as a volunteer, I will soon be officially employed. I have formally accepted the job offer as <a href="http://www.tfchina.org/about-tfc/join-our-team">Program Manager</a> with <a href="http://www.tfchina.org/">Teach for China</a>, a 2 year commitment with opportunities to stay and climb the career ladder. It is kind of funny that I will be living in China for another two years. I never studied Chinese with an intensity because of a motivation to find a job in China, but here I am after 4 years in China, language skills still somewhat basic, starting a job where strong language skills would be an asset.<br> <br>Am I lucky or what? I tend to jump from opportunity to opportunity, getting to explore incredible cultures from Alabama, Seattle, Africa, to China. Am I living the dream, or just settling for opportunities because they are offered, making decisions based on the fear of not having security? Have I stopped and really explored what I want to do? Well I do know that my resume with its career objective was written way before I ever heard about the positions at Teach for China, a perfect match with my resume. <br> <br>Am I following my heart? Well, at least I am out of chemistry and I will not be a classroom teacher. Those are two careers I am sure about. I can cross them off my list. What about Alaska or Antarctica though?<br> <br>Anyways enough philosophizing. Now, I need to buy a computer.<br> 王美安http://www.blogger.com/profile/13984871818839561152noreply@blogger.com4