Last days

I am scared.

It is funny. I wasn’t scared a few weeks ago nor was I that excited. This stoic unemotional self seemed like an oddity especially since I was preparing to go on a life changing adventure on the opposite side of the world in Guinea, Africa.

I am leaving in less than a week.
Emotions are starting to appear.

Goodbyes were said to family and to Seattle friends.
Now goodbyes are being said in Alabama.

I am finishing up a few projects: registering my car in Alabama, finishing up the picture-illustrated story about my family and being adopted. The story has prompted some interesting conversation about my birthmother. I never knew why she gave me up, but learned that she was an unwed single mother which made it impossible for her to raise a child on her own in the 1970’s in Taiwan. She gave me up for better opportunities in America.

Packing has become a slight headache. Thanks be to Damon who has been helping me streamline the weight.

Do you really need that food packet?
Do you really need those games?
Do you really need that shirt?
Do you really need that many coloring books?
Do you really need that can opener?
Do you really need that many gifts?

Funny how 5 tiny stuffed animals weigh down one’s luggage.

I am at 70 out of the 80 lbs and am now debating about 10 lbs worth of books. My uncle brought me some great science textbooks. Peace Corps veterans say, “Newbies bring TOO many books.” What does that mean? I could just pack the books into my carry-on, but do I want to suffer under the weight?

Some say we bring way too much stuff. Take courage and bring only 50 lbs. Live like the people in Guinea, yet deep down I still feel connected to this US philosophy of you can’t live without stuff. Make use of all the allowed weight to make your life more comfortable. And this is coming from a girl who is always getting rid of stuff so that she can fit all of her possessions into a car.

I wonder, “Have I brought the right stuff?”
There are a lot of wonderings going in my head.
I just need to take a breath, sigh it out and say, “Don’t worry. Be happy. Enjoy these last moments with people you love.”