I arrived in my new Burkina Faso village during the dry season. I learned how to sweat and relax living outside under a thatched roof compared to the metal one of my house-like oven.
The rainy season has arrived and I am slowly learning how to live inside. The flies are horribly annoying outside. It has turned cooler and I don't mind sitting at my desk writing as long as the flies are kept on the outside all whacked dead on the inside. Life these days remind me of the many hours at my desk in Guinea.
I am glad to be back in the writing habit.
I am glad to have a desk at which I can write without drenching each letter with a drop of sweat.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
August 18
I live in a quiet world of solitude.
It isn't the silence of noise that pierces
for there is a lot to hear
the ringing of the 5:45 am church bell
the cackling of a hen chased from pooping on the front porch
the bubbling of water from cooking rice or the popping of cooking corn
the scurrying of lizards across my metal roof
the tearing of weedy roots like the sounds of ripping teeth from their gums
No, it is the lack of English that envelops me into a bubble of quiet aloneness.
I read a book a day filling my mental silence with stories and conversations for my eyes to devour.
My ears feel neglected.
Sound can be a touch of human contact.
When the sun sets, I imprison myself under a net with mosquitoes guarding my access to freedom.
Anyways there are no coffee shops, no theaters, or music halls to attend. Where else can I be but at home?
With the star-filled sky as the stage, I slip in a CD and listen to the dramatic brass, the sad guitar strings, the voices of theatrical emotion expressing love, rebirth, anguish, strength, justice, and injustice as tonight's hearing of Les Mis fills my need for contact.
And I cry when Eponine dies, a star shooting across the black sky.
And I cry when all of the songs on the ruined disc 2 skip, a 3 hour showing shortened to 1.5 hours.
The stars keep falling to the sounds of crickets, to the sounds of solitude.
And I am content.
I can hear without distraction.
I can feel and listen in ways that are lost in a developed world surrounded by English.
Yes I am at peace, a monk studying the art of being.
It isn't the silence of noise that pierces
for there is a lot to hear
the ringing of the 5:45 am church bell
the cackling of a hen chased from pooping on the front porch
the bubbling of water from cooking rice or the popping of cooking corn
the scurrying of lizards across my metal roof
the tearing of weedy roots like the sounds of ripping teeth from their gums
No, it is the lack of English that envelops me into a bubble of quiet aloneness.
I read a book a day filling my mental silence with stories and conversations for my eyes to devour.
My ears feel neglected.
Sound can be a touch of human contact.
When the sun sets, I imprison myself under a net with mosquitoes guarding my access to freedom.
Anyways there are no coffee shops, no theaters, or music halls to attend. Where else can I be but at home?
With the star-filled sky as the stage, I slip in a CD and listen to the dramatic brass, the sad guitar strings, the voices of theatrical emotion expressing love, rebirth, anguish, strength, justice, and injustice as tonight's hearing of Les Mis fills my need for contact.
And I cry when Eponine dies, a star shooting across the black sky.
And I cry when all of the songs on the ruined disc 2 skip, a 3 hour showing shortened to 1.5 hours.
The stars keep falling to the sounds of crickets, to the sounds of solitude.
And I am content.
I can hear without distraction.
I can feel and listen in ways that are lost in a developed world surrounded by English.
Yes I am at peace, a monk studying the art of being.
When I am bored
I floss my teeth
I scrub my feet
I sweep the floor
I separate beans from rocks
I cook a time-consuming dish
I read an entire book
All the little things combined with bigger tasks like weeding, visiting, and tutoring make up a full enjoyable day.
I scrub my feet
I sweep the floor
I separate beans from rocks
I cook a time-consuming dish
I read an entire book
All the little things combined with bigger tasks like weeding, visiting, and tutoring make up a full enjoyable day.
An Ode to My Pagnes
August 15
Even though you are
strangely decorated with
mixed matched colors
and weird designs like
blenders,
cell phones,
severed fingers,
and
egg beaters
how fast you dry
how little you wrinkle
how amazingly well you hide
dirt and sweat
You are practical
and that is
what makes you great.
Note: Pagnes are 1.5 meters of African cloth.
Even though you are
strangely decorated with
mixed matched colors
and weird designs like
blenders,
cell phones,
severed fingers,
and
egg beaters
how fast you dry
how little you wrinkle
how amazingly well you hide
dirt and sweat
You are practical
and that is
what makes you great.
Note: Pagnes are 1.5 meters of African cloth.
My Pillow
When I first got to country I was so thankful that I brought my pillow from the states. It made it easier to fall asleep in the hot room of my host family.
When we left Guinea, I also left the pillow.
My new bed is a foldable cot made out of woven plastic rope. It is a hard bed. I bought the rectangle foam pillows that they have here. I was able to fall asleep, but then the hot season came and it was too hot to use the pillow. So I learned how to sleep without a pillow and now I never use one even if I'm in a hotel with fluffy ones.
Funny how quickly a body adapts.
When we left Guinea, I also left the pillow.
My new bed is a foldable cot made out of woven plastic rope. It is a hard bed. I bought the rectangle foam pillows that they have here. I was able to fall asleep, but then the hot season came and it was too hot to use the pillow. So I learned how to sleep without a pillow and now I never use one even if I'm in a hotel with fluffy ones.
Funny how quickly a body adapts.
August 11
Can you imagine?
mowing a lawn, by pulling up all the grass by hand?
Well that is what we did. It is necessary for safety. Who knows what the tall grass attracts to the house.
mowing a lawn, by pulling up all the grass by hand?
Well that is what we did. It is necessary for safety. Who knows what the tall grass attracts to the house.
August 6
"I want a bon bon," the ringleader of the 3 girls with bloated tummies asked in Moore.
I replied, "Do you want beans?"
Only the youngest, a 3 year old nodded yes.
She gobbled down my black eye pea chili and when I asked again, do you want beans, the 2 others nodded yes.
I gave them spoons and was glad to see that I am not the only one who makes a mess when using a new utensil.
I replied, "Do you want beans?"
Only the youngest, a 3 year old nodded yes.
She gobbled down my black eye pea chili and when I asked again, do you want beans, the 2 others nodded yes.
I gave them spoons and was glad to see that I am not the only one who makes a mess when using a new utensil.
August 5
Am I bored if
I sit in my house
whacking flies
with my handmade straw broom?
It did cross my mind
that flies have a right to live.
I should value life, but
it was only a slight hiccup
in my killing spree.
I sit in my house
whacking flies
with my handmade straw broom?
It did cross my mind
that flies have a right to live.
I should value life, but
it was only a slight hiccup
in my killing spree.
Village Tidbits
After a week and a half, it is thrilling to come home to my once barren garden now full of weeds mixed with bean, corn, and peanut greenness.
and
My Moringa trees that I have started in little bags have sprouted. My enclosed latrine is a great place to start a tree nursery well protected from hungry animals.
and
If I learned how to fix well pumps, I could do a bike tour across Africa re paring pumps in exchange for food and a place to stay.
and
Weeding is fun.
It is like a treasure hunt digging until you find the gold.
and
My Moringa trees that I have started in little bags have sprouted. My enclosed latrine is a great place to start a tree nursery well protected from hungry animals.
and
If I learned how to fix well pumps, I could do a bike tour across Africa re paring pumps in exchange for food and a place to stay.
and
Weeding is fun.
It is like a treasure hunt digging until you find the gold.
Flying versus the road
August 2
Airplanes are cramped ways to travel, an uncomfortable day to get from point A to point B.
I flew to Dakar, Senegal last week.
After a year of Bush taxis rides, airplanes are a first class way to travel
air conditioning
your own seat
seat belts
hot food and drinks handed to you instead of thrown through open windows chased by foot for their money as the taxi pulls away
a smooth ride
Airplanes are definitely a welcomed bump up to first class.
Airplanes are cramped ways to travel, an uncomfortable day to get from point A to point B.
I flew to Dakar, Senegal last week.
After a year of Bush taxis rides, airplanes are a first class way to travel
air conditioning
your own seat
seat belts
hot food and drinks handed to you instead of thrown through open windows chased by foot for their money as the taxi pulls away
a smooth ride
Airplanes are definitely a welcomed bump up to first class.
African Polite
July 30
Good morning.
How are you?
How is your family?
How did you sleep?
How is work?
God bless your day.
Amen
If I start a greeting in French o fin Moore I can be African polite, each question asked with a squeeze of the hand, at least 3 hand squeezes per greeting.
If I start a greeting in English, I am impolite with my minuscule greeting starting with good morning and ending with How are you running full speed into business.
Good morning.
How are you?
How is your family?
How did you sleep?
How is work?
God bless your day.
Amen
If I start a greeting in French o fin Moore I can be African polite, each question asked with a squeeze of the hand, at least 3 hand squeezes per greeting.
If I start a greeting in English, I am impolite with my minuscule greeting starting with good morning and ending with How are you running full speed into business.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
In Graduate School
I sometimes would hate life.
Here in Africa,
I sometimes feel sad and lonely,
but I never feel that I hate my life.
That makes me smile.
I love it here!
Here in Africa,
I sometimes feel sad and lonely,
but I never feel that I hate my life.
That makes me smile.
I love it here!
I am adopted
I feel like I have no roots.
I am connected to 30 years of life on this earth, but do not feel connected to anything older. My genetic makeup is my tradition. I have no cultural tradition. I am an outsider looking in, a reader doing research at the library.
No roots
No home
Am I burdened to forever wander, following me, for that is where my home is. I am my family.
Or does all of this have nothing to do with being adopted but has to do with age?
Am I in some common phase of life where 30 year olds think about their dreams, selfishly doing what they want following their hearts forsaking a life with family?
I am connected to 30 years of life on this earth, but do not feel connected to anything older. My genetic makeup is my tradition. I have no cultural tradition. I am an outsider looking in, a reader doing research at the library.
No roots
No home
Am I burdened to forever wander, following me, for that is where my home is. I am my family.
Or does all of this have nothing to do with being adopted but has to do with age?
Am I in some common phase of life where 30 year olds think about their dreams, selfishly doing what they want following their hearts forsaking a life with family?
Lights Out
Thursday 18 July
When dark falls it is easy to fall asleep even it if is only 7:30 pm.
Dark is dark here.
It is hard to differentiate a 7 o'clock dark from a 11 o'clock dark.
Electricity and light fool the body to stay up past dark.
When dark falls it is easy to fall asleep even it if is only 7:30 pm.
Dark is dark here.
It is hard to differentiate a 7 o'clock dark from a 11 o'clock dark.
Electricity and light fool the body to stay up past dark.
Dry Dirt
Wednesday 17 July
I have half an acre of land that I am planting using hand tools. A student plowed my land with a donkey while I was away.
Yesterday I planted peanuts and corn. Today beans.
I love physical labor feeling the sweat drip off of me like right after a cool bucket bath.
My 6 blisters hopefully will turn into calluses today rather than popped open sores.
I have half an acre of land that I am planting using hand tools. A student plowed my land with a donkey while I was away.
Yesterday I planted peanuts and corn. Today beans.
I love physical labor feeling the sweat drip off of me like right after a cool bucket bath.
My 6 blisters hopefully will turn into calluses today rather than popped open sores.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
When it rains
my yard turns into an
endless gigantic puddle.
Nice Damon is constructing
an elevated walkway from my
front door to the latrine
using clay and flat river rocks
that we collect daily strapping to our bikes.
He is so nice, isn't he?
Meals
Food is scarce.
People are planting.
Our diet consists of
noodles, oil, and onions
plus some yummy Nong Shim Shin Ramyun
a friend's sister so thoughtfully sent.
People are planting.
Our diet consists of
noodles, oil, and onions
plus some yummy Nong Shim Shin Ramyun
a friend's sister so thoughtfully sent.
Rain
I live outside, sleep, eat, read, and write outside.
But tonight the rain drove us inside.
Inside is scary.
Winged wispy bugs as long as a pinkie
and a HUGE rat plump as a grapefruit
who wanted to go outside
But tonight the rain drove us inside.
Inside is scary.
Winged wispy bugs as long as a pinkie
and a HUGE rat plump as a grapefruit
who wanted to go outside
but the screen door kept him on our side.
I did not scream.
And then an exclamation from Damon of "cute"
a pea-sized frog that Damon helped outside as he did with the rat.
What will the rest of the night bring?
a lime sized frog crawling up the screen door
a turtle swimming in the newly formed pond of a yard
to see or not to see?
which is better?
kerosene lamp on or off?
I did not scream.
And then an exclamation from Damon of "cute"
a pea-sized frog that Damon helped outside as he did with the rat.
What will the rest of the night bring?
a lime sized frog crawling up the screen door
a turtle swimming in the newly formed pond of a yard
to see or not to see?
which is better?
kerosene lamp on or off?
Writing
Saturday July 7
My writing has taken a hit.
Africa, life au village, provided the perfect writing environment to write in my journal, to write letters, blogs, and even various essays about love and relationships.
village
my perfect writing environment
solitary
quiet
lacking electricity and distraction
endless hours of
me and my pen
But with the arrival of Damon, a boyfriend, my writing has taken a hit. Having a 24 hour companion to take vacations to Banfora, Burkina Faso and to Ghana to experience new African sites and sounds put a stop sign on my writing.
But that is okay.
I've had fun travelling around. I don't like travelling probably due to my lifetime of car sickness. Without a companion I probably would have stayed put in my comfortable safe surroundings of village. I prefer the familiarity of having adapted and been accepted to a new culture rather than the stress of new money, of a maze of a new city, of drowning in a new language.
As a tourist, a new country, a new city, a new village, is not fun for me. Having a companion made it easier.
I love exploring new cultures as a long-term participant rather than a hello goodbye tourist.
My writing has taken a hit.
Africa, life au village, provided the perfect writing environment to write in my journal, to write letters, blogs, and even various essays about love and relationships.
my perfect writing environment
solitary
quiet
lacking electricity and distraction
endless hours of
me and my pen
But with the arrival of Damon, a boyfriend, my writing has taken a hit. Having a 24 hour companion to take vacations to Banfora, Burkina Faso and to Ghana to experience new African sites and sounds put a stop sign on my writing.
But that is okay.
I've had fun travelling around. I don't like travelling probably due to my lifetime of car sickness. Without a companion I probably would have stayed put in my comfortable safe surroundings of village. I prefer the familiarity of having adapted and been accepted to a new culture rather than the stress of new money, of a maze of a new city, of drowning in a new language.
As a tourist, a new country, a new city, a new village, is not fun for me. Having a companion made it easier.
I love exploring new cultures as a long-term participant rather than a hello goodbye tourist.
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