Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Following Dreams vs Tackling Fears

Recently I came to the conclusion that it was time to tackle my fear of returning to the USA as well as my fear of getting a job to become the responsible adult with an income who is saving for retirement.  Even though PC will allow me to serve seven years, I decided to let go of the dream of discovering a new country and a new culture to return to the USA.

A friend recently said, "Jennifer follow your heart and your dreams."

Tackling my fear is not following my heart or my dreams.  It is in my opinion for me selling out.  Do I really want to return to the states, live under the roof of my parents or generous friends, send out hundreds of resumes and cover letters to start down a career path?

What about my dreams of living the adventurous lifestyle?  Working on a fishing boat, doing a bike tour of China, doing a temp job tour through all the cool American cities, being a lifetime volunteer, living in Antarctica, Alaska, Mongolia, or Africa?  


Aftan (白文静) said...

I was here...read some blog! Thought you should know! :)

M said...

well, go for Alaska ! you'll tackle your fears going back to America but follow your dreams being an adventurer. So hell yay for Alaska!

Felicity said...

Hi, I've been reading your blog (which I found through ravelry) and finding your observations on your life in China really really interesting---I feel moved to comment on this particular subject tho because I'm wondering about how you've set the choice up for yourself---like there's a binary opposition between security and responsiblity (even to oneself) on the one hand and living a life rich in exploration, experience and meaning on the other...??
If you are worried about saving money & getting a bit bored in your provincial town, would it be possible to look for a better paying job in another part of China? Eh, I already feel like I should apoligize for foisting advice upon you that you have not actually asked for, and from a complete stranger too. My point, anyway, is that if neither option A or B feels quite right, maybe there's an option C.
I was particularly struck by the way, in an early post, you quoted the Chris MacCandless, whose story was told in "Into the wild..." The quote is nice, but I have always found his story SO SO SO sad, and not at all inspiring...He's not having any more adventures....He didn't know what he was doing, he was totally clueless about wilderness survival. He died, not because he was too pure for this world but because he was stuck in a kind of fantasy about how things ought to be, and was not able to learn, adjust, respond to the actual circumstances he was in...(at least that's how I read the story.)
Compromise is not always a bad thing...A life of greater material comfort need not mean a life of spiritual death....!
Ok, done ranting....