First Impression of Paris

Paris is fantastique!

I am having an amazing experience- the cheese, the bread, the chunks of meat, the life of drinking mint tea and connecting with friends amongst architecture dating to the 1600's-1900's where mini elevators have been added and bay windows open onto tiny balconies from which the Eiffel Tower can be spotted and quaint narrow Parisian streets with people scurrying from here to there in their dark clothes can be seen down below.  Bakeries are on every corner and people even sit at outdoor cafes in the middle of winter.  The Metro gets you everywhere.  The lines outside of museums are long but move fast.  We visited a free exhibit by the artist Sempe who is known for his Paris scenes and covers for the "New Yorker."  Theaters are super warm where I had to strip down to my last layer to see A Dangerous Method by Cronenberg.  Walks in parks and streets are full of wonderous sights from the river, trees, and statues to the shops, towers, domes, gargoyles and columns,   Supper is served late and dinner parties start at 8 pm and go until midnight.  What is this lifestyle of rich pleasure?  Is it for me? 

Last day of the Term

Saturday is a make-up day so that the college can have a three day weekend of Jan 1-3.  We are teaching Jan 3rd's class today.  Tuesday is the day I have 6 periods, a long day.  I am lucky though coz today is the last day of the term for me.  The school asked me to give my finals early, but everyone else has to stay till the 11th of January.

 

I have about 10 more culture interviews where the students have 10 minutes to

1.  Describe a picture

2.  Look at two pictures and give their opinion about which one is western and Chinese values.

3.  Answer 2 questions about material from the western culture class.

 

During the other 4 periods, students will watch a movie while I grade their notebooks so I can give them back their notebooks.  Why do I not feel guilty about just showing an end of the term movie and not teaching a lesson?

1. They have already taken their finals and I will teach them again next semester.  Why teach a lesson plan that I will need for next semester?
2. In Gansu I participated in the kung fu P.E. class and the way the teacher administered the exam was to have all the students just sit around while he watched one student do the routine.  Having students sit around while I grade their notebooks is somewhat similar but instead of just being bored, they get to watch an English movie.
3. Watching a movie is like a treat that I want to give to my students for their hardwork this semester.

This semester has had quite a few lows:

1.  Commuting

2.  Having two campuses

3.  Responsibility and stress with the PC support and office position

4.  The dark and dreary weather of Chengdu

5.  Weariness of teaching for 11 years

 

It has also had some highs:

1.  Biking

2.  Food, art, music

3.  Attending a couchsurfing event and meeting a bunch of independent young local people

4.  The easy to work with school leaders, officials, and counterparts

 

I need a vacation and what does fate have in store for me?

Paris...  then Guangzhou... then back to Chengdu...

Secondary Project Fell into my Lap

At some schools it is easy.

In a previous post I wrote, "but I am not really doing the footwork that is necessary to start a secondary project."

But umm... one kind of fell into my lap without much effort.

I have lunch with my counterpart on a weekly basis and we talk about Chinese culture, teaching, and my experiences in Gansu.  I mentioned in passing without really any intention of starting a resource center that in Gansu we had a really cool English library where students volunteered to run the library and we helped write grants to shelve the place with English books donated by Darien Book Aid Plan.

Today we invited our counterparts out for a thank you hot pot lunch because they are awesome counterparts who notify us in advance about exams, and school related announcements, have been super friendly inviting us to dinner and lunches and to play badminton and have provided us with valuable information about Chinese culture.  Lo and behold, what does my counterpart say, "I told the Dean about the resource center in Gansu, and the Foreign Language Department would like to provide you with a room."  A room that is supported by the school is the first step and usually takes a lot of meetings with leaders.

But Wow!!!  So easy.  Incredible!!!  Weird!!!  I have never had a secondary project just fall into my lap.  Crazy lucky?

Foreigner Party

Yep that was what it was called.

The day before the party, I received a text message from my counterpart saying, "Are you free to attend a meeting hosted by someone in Chengdu?  You will represent us there."

"I am free.  I can go," I text back.

She sent me the address via email and I would have biked if the rain hadn't been pouring down.  One thing I love about living in a new city is the exploring of streets, bus lines, and getting lost but eventually finding my way.  The meeting was held in a hotel on a street that I had already walked along during one of my exploratory walks through Chengdu.  It was a street full of bright fabric, dance costumes, hostess ball gowns, and ethnic clothes used for performances.

I assumed the meeting was about the safety of foreigners in the city.  I remembered that the Lanzhou volunteers had to attend a session with the police on how to be safe in the city.  Instead the banner read, Welcome to the 2011 Foreigner Party welcoming us to a room full of balloons and plates filled with sunflower seeds, peanuts, candy, oranges, and cookies. 

I arrived early wanting to give myself plenty of time to get lost in case it was a hard to find location.  Plus I had 90 listening papers to grade which I graded to Christmas elevator music whose 2 songs ran on repeat.  By the time the event started, I had finished about 50% of the work.

The room filled with a small number of about 20 foreigners which was surprising because the city has a TON of foreigners.  The party opened with 30 minute of speeches, then two people sang Christmas carols, then we were asked to play games- a balloon race with a partner where you can't use your hands, musical chairs, with your feet pop the balloons that are tied around two people's legs, and organize three people to somehow be on the smallest area of a piece of newspaper.  It was a strange surreal atmosphere where as the party progressed the numbers dwindled from 20 to 10 to eventually 5. 

People in China love playing these games that I often consider are children's party games.  I remember sitting at a Chinese restaurant watching adults play musical chairs and have a watermelon eating contest to receive a free plate of fish or a water bottle.

I did mingle and make small talk learning that many of the foreigners were primary and secondary education teachers and their biggest challenge was classroom management with 60-80 students.  Not sure why my college was invited, but I did learn new games that I can use in my classroom or at parties I might help organize in the future.  It wasn't a total waste of time.

PCV Living in a Big City

Here I am a Peace Corps Volunteer living in one of the most populated cities I have ever lived in.  Incredible isn't it?  Not your mud hut in a village of 300 families.

It is hard to wrap one's head around being a volunteer and living in such a city of luxury.  I feel like I am back in Seattle riding buses to music shows, biking to museums, feasting on international food, and sipping coffee in a different tea shop every week.  The buses are packed and it is hard to find a seat.  You are always standing.  The subway with its one single line that runs north and south is way less crowded but more expensive.

At first I had culture shock moving from small town to big city, but I have adapted and now am loving big city life.

Because I am working so much with the PC community, I tend not to have as much energy for my Chinese community.  Also because I am only here for one year I have a different mentality towards community integration.  I am holding office hours and learning about my students' lives.  I am inviting people out to dinner and learning about the lives of Chinese teachers, but I am not really doing the footwork that is necessary to start a secondary project. 

If I had been assigned Chengdu for my two years in Peace Corps I would have become more involved.  Even though there are foreign teachers in this city making $1000 a month compared to my $220 living allowance, I think as a PCV there is a different mentality when living in the community.  As a PCV, I tend to want to integrate, to learn language, to find people to work with, and to start secondary projects.  I try to do more than just teach.  I am not here for a salary, for hanging out with ex-pats in foreigner dominated venues, but am here for the Chinese experience, for the culture exchange, for the idea of serving a community.

A Chinese American Lost in China

Tonight I went to a CD, Trail Dust, release party at Machu Piccu owned by Zhou Fei.  Living abroad for 6 years in much much smaller communities I haven't been able to go to live shows, so it really is a treat to be able to look at a calendar of events (GoChengdoo) and have a selection of local happenings to pick and choose from.

Back in the states, I would wander Seattle, eat out, drink Earl Grey in coffee shops, attend shows, bike around Lake Washington, and every once in a while meet up with old friends and make new friends. 

Returning to a city whose weather reminds me of the dark winters of Seattle, overcast without sunshine, the life here feels somewhat familiar as I wander the city, drink lattes, eat sushi, attend shows, and bike to lakes, yet I feel like a stranger to this city person who feels somewhat familiar but who also feels like something is missing. 

I have somehow lost part of my identity.  Which part?

Back in Seattle, I felt surrounded by strangers and felt this urge to take part in my own personal social experiment where when riding the bus, I would dare myself to say hello to someone new.  Going to a party, I would take a deep breath and give myself a pep talk to start a conversation.  I was trying to see if by forcing myself to talk I could turn shyness into something new.  I was trying to see if the world was actually a place full of friendly people who all just want to make a connection with another human being. 

I have lost my American identity.  With students, I am the American teacher.  With strangers, I am Chinese.

There are two worlds, the Chinese one and the foreign face one.  I wander an in-between world of having an Asian face who can't speak Chinese yet inside know that I am just like the foreigners with non-Asian faces visiting China.  With foreigners, I am silenced by the expectation of a language barrier.  People won't even say hello unless they know Chinese and I am too afraid to say hello to break that barrier to announce to people that I am American with my accent.

In the Chinese world, people will say something to me in Chinese but if I don't understand their words, they are quickly silenced by their fear of embarrassing one of us because we are having trouble communicating.  When I see a bunch of Chinese bikers all wearing the same biking clothes, I am too afraid to approach them to say" Ni hao," even though I know that they would be friendly.

I feel caught in between two worlds.  I am Chinese who can't speak fluently.  I am American who isn't obviously outwardly American.  In a city where foreigners seem to flock together or where Chinese people want to make foreign friends, I am ignored. 

The reality though is I am the one who is imprisoning myself in my own solitude of fear unable to break through the wall and say a friendly hello in English or Chinese.  I have lost the ability to have a conversation, to reveal little bits and pieces of myself, to tell my story.  This part of me has been replaced with teacher mode, the person who can ask questions to get students to speak English.  If you're not my student, then using Mandarin I can start a typical Chinese conversation about food and where you are from, but find the conversation to dead end pretty quickly making me wary to even start the conversation.  Using English, I have lost the ability to reveal myself replaced with question after question about another culture.  If we are both Americans living in China, then I don't know what to talk about, what questions to ask. 

I feel socially awkward and lost so then I hide away in silence behind my knitting.

60 km Bike Loop

Southern Chengdu:  3rd Ring Road next to Ikea to Chenglong Avenue to XingLongquan (25 km) then to Huayuang along Chenghuan Road that turns into Lushan Ave (25 km) back to Ikea (10 km)

The roads were wide and the cars were few.  Along this route would you believe that I passed two drive-thru McDonald's?

It was a chilly day to ride but with only 3 top layers, a bandanna to cover my ears, and mittens, I was warm and toasty except for my feet which turned completely numb about halfway through the ride.  I'm still trying to thaw out my toes.

Evolution of my Gender Role

As a kid, I loved playing with baby dolls and taking them out on goat herding outings and picnics.  I loved playing with boys racing and beating them as the fastest girl on the playground.  I found the physicality of boys rough housing and playing sports more appealing than the girls who would stand around the playground talking and putting on make-up.  I dreamed of being physically strong like males yearning for their privileges, and at the time didn't realize that I was already strong in other ways as a natural born leader in academics, extra-curricular activities, and sports.  When the high school commencement speech was given by a white male rather than the Asian female valedictorian, gender roles were re-emphasized teaching me that maybe men really did have a higher standing than women.

 

In my Alabama college with my first boyfriend, I fought gender stereotypes where the male gender role was of a chivalrous nature with the paying of meals, giving of gifts, opening of doors and carrying the weak female across a stream.  It was easy to fight these outwardly observable gender roles, but my personal challenge was the inward battle of trying to understand who I was as a female and how I interacted with and related to males.  As a people-pleaser I became a 1950's housewife following the male's lead, submitting to his will, ignoring my voice, and changing to try to fit what I perceived was his ideal woman.  My true self would remain hidden throughout the relationship until it rebelled so loudly that I would wake up and realize oh... a 1950's housewife isn't me and the relationship would end.

 

In Seattle a whole new world of gender stereotypes was introduced where not only were there the heterosexual models but also gender benders, androgynous people, femmes, butches, feminine masculinity and more...  I cut my hair short in protest of being seen and stereotyped as the exotic, feminine, submissive, Asian flower.  I didn't realize though that my body type and Asian features with short hair would lend itself to androgeny and being mistaken as male.  The next stage in my gender role evolution was struggling to understand how I may look male but my inner voice and mannerisms were female.  I struggled with society's expectation that because I looked male I would act male.

 

I think it is here living abroad for 6 years that has helped me evolve into a person more comfortable in her own skin, more comfortable with who I am in relation to gender roles.  Living amongst traditional cultures where the gender roles are even more defined than in the USA, I have had the privilege of living outside of these gender roles as the honorary foreigner with strange ways and mannerisms.  I have been able to define who I am without the influence of American male and female gender roles and because I am not African or Chinese there was little pressure to fit into those traditional roles. 

 

Rather than being defined because of female or male gender roles, it is liberating being able to hear my own voice and to define myself.  I can be logical, rational, non-emotional, strong, a leader, a giving caretaker, a listener, an introvert, and a loner without thinking in terms of whether or not these are feminine or masculine characteristics.  Even though the world may judge me according to gender roles, by living abroad for 6 years, I have managed to discover and define myself.

How are you doing Jen?

It has taken several months to adapt to my whacky schedule and I am not even sure if I have adjusted because it is always changing.  I wonder how people who have rolling schedules where sometimes they work a night shift and other times work a day shift manage their exhaustion from not having a regular working habit.

 

Why is my schedule whacky?

 

Well my teaching schedule is not the same each week.  Some weeks I teach 7 classes.  Other weeks I teach 5 classes. 

 

My position at the PC office is not the same each week. Some weeks I go in on Mondays.  Other weeks I go in on Thursdays.  Plus I am available at any other time when I might be needed for example weekends and evenings.  I think I probably each month have only one weekend totally free from responsibility.

 

Otherwise I'm adjusting and am pretty happy. 

 

I enjoy my bike commute. 

 

I enjoy office hours, one on one time with the students.

 

I enjoy supporting Volunteers and PC staff.

 

I went on a day trip to an old town and a Great Wall of Chengdu with the tourism students who were practicing being tour guides.

 

I was requested the day before the actual performance to prepare something for the Freshmen welcome party.  My first idea was to teach an English song, but then I remembered that I have been practicing Kungfu for three years.  I could do that, so I spent a day and a half reviewing and received cheers at the evening performance full of bubbles and smoke that the President of the school actually attended.  It was a semi-big deal.

 

I am busy. 

 

Any lows?

 

Sometimes I feel guilty that I choose alone time over putting forth more time and effort towards community integration, language learning and secondary projects, but I try to keep telling myself that I have two jobs, teaching and the PCVL position.  I need my alone time too.

 

Grading mid-terms... I strongly dislike grading.

Legacy of Volunteers

Usually I hear so many good things about Peace Corps Volunteers.  For example, the other day someone told me, "Some people think that a PCV English teacher only helped my English; however, the Volunteer really helped me have the courage and confidence to discover and go after what I really wanted to do in life."

 

Yesterday one of the English teachers at my college said, "Oh you are a Peace Corps Volunteer?"

 

"Yes I am."

 

"When I was in college five years ago, I had a Peace Corps Volunteer teacher.  He would always come into class and tell us everything that he hated about China."

My Dorm Life

Living in a dormitory on the teacher floor where the other floors are used by students is a rare glimpse into the lives of Chinese college students.  Every evening Chinese and English pop music blares through the speakers till 9 pm.  Then at 7:30 am, music with a fast beat is our morning wake-up call.  At 8:10, all of the students stand in formation for their 30 minute morning reading. 

Secondary Projects: Love to Hear About Them

Greetings Volunteers who might read my blog,

If you are doing an awesome secondary project or know of any other Volunteers who've got a cool project, we'd like to continue recognizing projects in the bi-monthly newsletter.  I know that everyone has to fill out the vrf; however,  it is usually done at the end of the term.  The newsletter comes out more frequently.  Please send pictures and/or a write-up to your Program Manager or contact me directly.  If you aren't into writing, I am actually also looking for people who'd be interested in having a phone interview about their project.  Contact me if you'd like to be interviewed.

Be well,

Jen

Women's Issues

What are the women's issues for American, African, and Chinese women?

Personally, for me as an American woman, the issue is how to define myself as a woman and self-define my role as a woman including how to have a voice to express myself.  I have so many choices that are my own.  I can have a professional career or be a stay at home mother.  I don't have to worry about money because I am confident that I will always have a job to support myself.  I can choose to get married or to remain single and can choose for myself who I date and love.  

Educated American women have many opportunities and the freedom to make their own choices to create their own futures.

In West Africa, during my two years there I saw so many issues that were fundamental to survival.  Education was not equally provided to all genders.  By the first year of middle school out of 100 students, only 20 were female.  By high school, the number of female students probably dropped to one hand.  Health care and health education was an issue.  I helped with handing out food to mothers whose babies were under-weight and mal-nourished.  Women had little choice in who they would marry and how many children they would have.  Women did a majority of the work yet didn't have control of money or have the opportunities to support themselves.  In West Africa, the issues for women revolved around how to survive the hardships of poverty while trying to keep their children alive.

In China, I asked my students what are the women's issues for young Chinese women and for older Chinese women.  In no order of importance, they listed the following problems:

• working towards the position of women becoming more equal to men's
• the lack of job experience
• domestic violence
• health
• body image, losing weight, high heel shoes, companies hiring based on height and beauty
• can't deal with stress as well as men
• can't drink or smoke like men

They said that for older women the issue was the fear of being homeless.  If a woman didn't have a responsible child, then she would have to live in a home for the elderly where the conditions were very poor.

I asked Chinese teachers the same question.  They listed discrimination in the work place, marriage and mother-in-laws, and domestic violence as issues for women.  They further explained that women have a great pressure to marry and have a child.  If they don't get married or don't have a child, then society will think something is wrong with them.  Marriages often have a lot of conflict because of the family.  There is a saying that I have often heard in China, "You are not marrying a man but his family." 

In my opinion, Chinese women have more choices than African women but fewer choices than American women.  Chinese women are equally educated, have their own careers, and have their own money.  They, however, unlike American women have a greater pressure to get married and to have a family.  Because of this pressure, Chinese women tend to get married sooner and quicker.  They get married to men who might not be their first choice but choose a man whom the family supports.  Even with a cheating husband or a bad marriage, Chinese women will stay married for the sake of the children.

Women's issues are different depending on the environment, culture, tradition, and even the laws of the land.

Napping, Laundry, and Dancing

After four periods of teaching about the government in the U.K. and how to problem solve with friends on a telephone, I sat in a bus with rays of sunshine pouring through, a bus full of people taking naps.  Before I knew it, I too woke as we pulled up to the front gate of my city campus.

Been too busy to do laundry...
Am I living the American lifestyle?
Too tired after full days of work to even do laundry?
Of course after a flooding, my washing machine has been broken.
Doing laundry by hand takes extra effort.
Today I finally had an afternoon at home for the repair guy to come and fix the broken hose.

Tried Salsa dancing tonight with students, but realized after
being dipped and twirled and spun and moved all over the room in crazy steps
that they were preparing for a performance.
They weren't just learning Salsa for fun.

Can I survive today?

How can the quiet sleep of not even being aware of anything be so suddenly and rudely interrupted by lists of things to include in a budget or images of how to arrange text in a newsletter?  What does it mean that my brain won't remain sleeping but at 5 in the morning in the darkness before dawn demand that I start thinking?

Neon soaking layers unable to dry in the wet wind of a speedy ride under a dark gray sky
Peeled off to a single layer of skin already dry
Vulnerable to the day's responsibilities waiting in the wings of pre-productivity
Cleansed with a baptism of cup after cup of warm water
Splattered mud mixed with sweat rinsed clean from a bright pink bucket

Wrapped from head to toe
with soft creative colorful creations of
a slouchy hip hat
a maroon triangular bulky gartered scarf
pink and orange fingerless stockinetted gloves and
purple and red striped fitted socks

Head to toe
warmed by colorful uniqueness
knitted with a single strand of yarn
a memory of the pleasure of creating
but
instead stuck
in front of a bright screen
with bullet points
goals
objectives
and outcomes
typing for cold hard cash
when my soul today
really needs
something different

Busy: Work and Flat Tires

I've been busy.  For the past two weekends I have been attending various PC workshops/meetings- Professional Peer Support Network (PPS) and Volunteers Supporting Volunteers (VSV).  I got to eat great free food pasta, Turkish, pizza, brownies, cheese, and carrot cake. 

 

On another note, I am thinking I should probably buy a computer.

 

Why?

 

Coz with this PCVL position there is a lot of work I could be doing more efficiently if I had a computer to use at home that didn't have outdated software that was all in Chinese.  Right now I am just commuting to the office whenever I have free time to finish up work like newsletters or reports.  It gets tiring commuting.  I could be working from home.

 

Last week I got up at 5 am to start biking to my other campus at 6 am and lucky for me got a flat tire about 1 mile from the gate of my destination, the countryside campus.  It made me feel happy to fix my first flat tire.  Would you believe that after years of biking, I have rarely had a flat?  Most of my flats were in China and in China there are always people around whom you can pay to fix it.  I figured though I had better make sure I actually knew how to fix a flat tire especially if I do a bike trip and get a flat in the middle of nowhere.  In theory I knew how but now I know I can at least fix a front tire.  The back tire... I think I may need a book to teach me what to do if I have to change that tire.

Gansu and Sichuan Students

One reason why I choose to stay a fourth year in PC China was to discover if students from different provinces were different. 

 

The Gansu college I taught at was a 4-year school training future teachers in a city with a population of several 100,000.  The students were from Gansu, small towns.  Their parents were farmers. 

 

The Sichuan college where I am currently teaching is a 3-year vocational school training tourism and business students in a city with a population of 14 million.  The students are mostly from Sichuan, smaller towns than Chengdu.

 

In America there are differences between kids raised in a city compared to those raised in more rural settings.  There are differences between kids raised in California compared to those in Alabama.  So I expected there to be differences between the students raised in Gansu and Sichuan provinces.

 

Have I noticed many differences?  Not really.  There are three major differences though.  The Sichuan students have been exposed to more American media like "Gossip Girl" and Lady Gaga.  The second difference is many of the students' parents don't live in Sichuan, but are migrant workers.  In Gansu, most of the students lived with their parents in Gansu before going off to college.  The Sichuan students were raised by their grandparents being forced to stay in the province where they were born.  In order to take national exams, their ID cards require them to take the exams in the province the ID card was issued from.  The third difference is incredible.  Many of the Sichuan students have part-time jobs making 1,000 RMB a month.  My living allowance is only a little more at 1,500 RMB.  In Gansu, the students were happy making 15-20 RMB/hour, maybe working a few hours per week.

 

There are many similarities.  Students are traditional and feel like they need to be married by 24-25.  They are strongly loyal to family.  Their English level is similar and they are energetic, motivated, young in maturity and love their English teacher.  When asked to make a poster about a geography section of the book, students tended to just re-copy a photograph next to that section of the book instead of reading the text to find words they could draw or use for the poster.  When five students were asked to go to the chalkboard and draw the body parts of a monster that their classmates described, the students drew the exact same monster.  All five of them had almost the exact same drawing.

 

The students in Gansu and Sichuan are very similar.  The English teachers on the other hand are quite different.  The teachers at my Sichuan college are not as traditional as the ones in Gansu.  They married later than 24-25.  Their English is amazing and they have such a variety of opinions.  They are less shy to use their English and many of them have cars!

I have two PC approved beds

I am super excited.  I have two beds. 

 

One bed is in a large empty flat with a kitchen, a shower, a huge living room, a washing machine, a bedroom, and a computer hooked up to the Internet.  This flat is in the new business district undergoing construction and is super noisy with big diesel trucks gearing up and down outside my bedroom window at all hours of the night.  On an old bike that will hopefully not be stolen, it is about a 40 minute ride 8 km (5 miles)  to the PC office where I work once a week during my free time.

 

The other bed is in a student/teacher dormitory where I have a private room and a squat toilet.  The shower is a community shower where I just have to borrow a key from the security guard.  I am back to doing laundry in a bucket.  This dorm room is about 30 km (18 miles) outside of the city, next to a park with a beautiful stream and fits my desire for countryside living.  It is fantastic!!!!  If I didn't work in the PC office, I'd permanently move out to the campus where I teach.

 

I bought an expensive GIANT bike and have been commuting via bike.  I LOVE it!  I am glad Africa taught me how to tie heavy things to a bike rack.  I have to carry school books, reading books, shoes, and clothes between two campuses.  Why not have two sets of clothes?  Umm... well I am down to very few clothes because I wasn't expecting to stay in China for a 4th year.  I took home all of my good clothes and I am a terrible shopper.

 

It is a quick fast ride, 1 hour and 20 minutes on a 10 lane highway where 4 lanes are devoted to bikes, motorcycles, tractors and buses.  The only ugh factor is the air quality.

The Drawback to Electricity

Electricity is great.  The world of night is lit up.  People can stay up and live like it is daytime.  People can be entertained by moving pictures and noise.  Students can do homework and books can be consumed.  We can have midnight feasts, do chores, and work till we drop from exhaustion.

 

In Africa, I learned the delights of sitting outside under the stars creating entertainment with friends and family under the moonlight.  I went to bed early and woke up early.  I found peace in the immense quiet of a world dead to technology.

 

At night, my Chinese apartment scares me silly.  Would I say that the scorpion carriers and the mice of Africa were bigger and scarier than those in my new Chengdu flat?  Humid wetness breeding wildlife- chunky spiders bigger than my hand, cute mice with long tails and plump furry bodies, and cockroaches not quite as gigantic as the ones in Africa.  Actually no.  It is not the creepy crawlies that scare me. 

 

I am afraid of the light.

 

I have lived with wildlife for years.  I slept outside in Africa and one might assume that by living in a flat, the living things would stay outside.  The problem is I am on the first floor and things can climb in through the screenless windows.  The only thing that is kept out is a robber, bars too narrow to crawl through.

 

In Africa, I went to bed early, listening to the mice checking out the shelves for food and fell asleep believing the comforting lie, "The mosquito net would keep out things with legs."  I was a peace with the living creatures in Africa.

 

On the other hand, in China the spiders and mice scare me.  In Africa I could pretend that the things unseen did not exist.  In China, as I lay in bed reading, I have the opportunity to watch a large spider crawl along the ceiling from one corner to the next hoping that as I fall asleep it won't crawl over my face.   As I go to the bathroom, flipping on the light, I try my best to stifle a scream as a mice scurries along the wall to the window praying it won't run over my feet.

 

In Africa, the creatures didn't exist.  In China they do.  Electricity feeds light bulbs and I see all that I am living with.

Blog Backlog

I have just gotten internet and have just recently been able to fix my blogger account to publish via email.  Here are a few blogs I meant to publish several weeks ago.

 

September 7, 2011- Life without Internet

 

How much time as a PCV in China does Internet occupy one's time?  Without access in my flat, I am learning that it probably occupied many hours of my day- writing emails, watching online TV and movies, writing blogs, looking up info, hanging out with the online knitting community.  Luckily I quit Facebook several years ago or that probably would have turned my life in the real world into a faint ghost forgotten for an online addiction.

 

I've still got two weeks before school starts.  The freshmen are doing 10 days of military training and I'll be teaching them speaking, listening, and western culture which is mostly a history class.  My days are empty.

 

Okay not really.

 

Last week was full.  There were the last days of PST (pre-service training) and supervisor meetings.  All new PCVs moved to a fancy hotel and I used my "perfect" English to sneak into the hotel provided free breakfast buffet pretending to be a roommate of a room that only had one person in it.  I ate my fill of fresh fruit, baked beans, and bacon.  For some reason I haven't found cheap fruit in this big city and haven't bought any.  It seems fruit is double or triple the price of Gansu.  My dean says that the cost of living these past few months has really really gone up.  I helped my new sitemate buy housewares, a fan, and showed him the free box in the PC office where he got a hot water kettle and plates.  I love the free box!  I met up with a family of one of my friends in Lanzhou.  I got them their return train tickets and they invited me to dinner.  It is good to have friends all over China because getting a train ticket for the day you are leaving can be difficult if you don't buy them 10 days early.  I had dinner with my Chengdu host family.

 

So it sounds like I'm busy, but actually there is still a lot of downtime.  I've been writing letters and have been reading a book a day which isn't so good since my access to English books is limited.  I go on bike rides and found an authentic American bakery, Leanna's in the Tibetan district that has a small library.  I sit in Ikea drinking free coffee watching fathers feed their toddlers mashed potatoes and meatballs, see the elderly talking and drinking green tea, see young rich people buy trays of food worth $10 of food, pasta, Salmon, dessert, a drink when I can only afford $1 meals waiting for 2 pm happy hour when I can get a $1 smoked Salmon salad.

 

Do I miss the Internet?  I miss writing daily emails and blogs.  I wish I could look up things to do in Chengdu, find the museums and the live music.  So yes I do miss Internet.  Is the quality of life better without Internet?  I think I do pretty well balancing my Internet use with real life.  I do hope the school accepts our request for free Internet instead of having to pay for it each month.

 

September 12, 2011- Good news and Bad news

 

First the bad news

 

Each week, I am teaching 16 hours, preparing 5 different oral English lesson plans, commuting 4.5 hours, holding 2-4 hours of office hours, and 2-4 hours of English corner.  It is umm.. a heavy load, something that I did not stay a 6th year in Peace Corps for.  So I am a bit disappointed and feeling a bit stressed on how to balance teaching with other things that I want to do and learn.

 

(Several days ago, I negotiated my teaching schedule and the bad news has turned into better news.  I will be teaching 10 hours some weeks and 14 hours during other weeks.  I only have 3 lesson plans and 4 hours of office hours and English corner.  I will be living on the other campus once a week in a dorm room that has a private toilet and a community shower.  It is a good compromise and I am learning to accept the idea of being a full time teacher instead of a volunteer working full time in the office.)

 

Next the good news

 

I got a beat up ancient heavy bike that hopefully no one will steal.  After a couple weeks of getting used to the bike seat, I can say that Chengdu is an awesome biking city!  There are wide bicycle and motorcycle lanes throughout the city.  There are roundabouts and underpasses where major highways cut through.  Also, workers in bright orange uniforms with red flags keep pedestrians from congregating in the bike lanes as walkers wait to cross the street making it easy to ride through intersections.  There is a natural flow of the slower vehicles and only a few go the wrong way.  Biking in Chengdu for me is actually surprisingly not stressful.

 

I went to Chengdu's Museum of Contemporary Art and was surprised to find a drive-thru McDonald's across the street.  I enjoyed the free entrance fee and the quiet cool open space.