Friday, July 02, 2010

Consequence of Living Abroad

Living abroad for four years, I feel like I have forgotten American mannerisms, culture, ways to socialize except that I haven't really forgotten because it is such a strong part of my core. It is impossible to forget twenty two years of being trained in American culture. So it is a bit strange when I hang out with Americans because I know the customs but can't figure out why they feel a bit awkward. Why do they feel awkward? Why do goodbye hugs feel weird? Why am I socially inept and quiet around American conversations?

It is a paradox.

I yearn for the familiarity, the comfort, and the freedom to be me, an American amongst like minded people, yet that which I desire for some reason is uncomfortable. So then instead of socializing and being friendly, I end up choosing to be alone with my knitting.

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