Sunday, May 16, 2010

Why did I go to Africa and China?

I went to Africa to live the simple life, back to the bare necessities of life, to find truths that exist without consumerism, excess, salaries of money.

What truths did I learn?

I learned that I can live a happy life with only the bare necessities: food, water, shelter, air and human companionship.

I learned that the peace of such a lifestyle was amazing. I somehow found the root, the source, the rawness of my own heart, of my own breath, of my own soul.

I learned that without money and without a good health care system, life spans are short. For me personally if I was happy and had peace during a short life span, I would be happy dieing at 40 or 50 instead of living till I was 90. If the life had been wonderful, I would die a happy woman; therefore, I do not feel the need to make a lot of money to prolong my life because of a fear of retirement or bad health.

I went to China to discover who am I?
What parts of me are Chinese?
What parts of me are American?
What parts of my personality are due to nature versus nurture?

Have I discovered who I am?

Not really. It is still confusing because instead of comparing myself to my specific family gene pool, I am comparing myself to a nation of Chinese people.

I definitely know that I am strongly American. I can see the differences between my American self and the Chinese culture.

I am still uncertain about which parts of my personality are due to genetics. Do I sacrifice my personal desires for the harmony of the group, for my friendships and relationships because I am genetically Chinese? Why is my lifestyle philosophy so different than my parents and my brother if I was raised in their family? Why am I not religious when they are? Why didn't nurture influence my life path more?

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