Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Morning Work

This morning I woke up and did not want to go on a bike ride, but when I opened my inbox, I decided a bike ride would be healthy.

I have never really considered myself an angry personality. I've always been the stereotypical quiet, submissive, voiceless stoic Asian girl who never speaks her mind, rarely with a controversial opinion. Instead when asked for an opinion, I answer with a question. Strong emotions rarely shown, rarely felt, sometimes locked away.

Once while riding down to Portland, a friend asked, "Is there nothing that will make you angry? What if I smoked a cigarette in this car and threw the burning butt out the window which potentially could start a forest fire. Wouldn't that make you angry?" I searched inside and didn't feel any anger towards that scenario.

As I have grown older, had my thoughts challenged, had conflicts with people with different viewpoints, conflicts with people who think they know what is best for me, conflicts with people who tell me what to do and how to do it, I have grown angry. Instead of being the good girl who never creates conflict, I have had to learn to open my mouth and express myself.

The bike ride was good, anger dissipated through sweat and burning muscles; however, I think I will remain silent on this one. Why open a can of worms? There is no point. If I was trying to maintain a friendship or a relationship, then I would say something, but... in this instance there is no point.

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